Author / Bethe

by Bethe

Can we be real for a minute?

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As women, we need permission to be real. Because until we get permission, we tend to walk around displaying a best version of ourselves. And then as soon as one person in the group decides to tear down her walls and share her insecurities, her fears, her imperfections… the rest of the group follows.

So I want to be the first to stand up and be real. To be transparent, to tell you about my imperfections and my insecurities and weaknesses. There are so many. And every time I share them, women come up to me and whisper, “Me too!”

Me too are some of the most comforting words in the English language, aren’t they?

So ladies, will you be real with me? I’ll share a story with you, and then you can share a story with me (or your Facebook friends, or your neighbor, or your Sunday School class or a coworker).

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Mr. Right and I are never EVER bringing our child to another restaurant. Ever. At least, not until she’s 20, and even then, only maybe. Twice in two weeks we took her to eat (both times for someone’s birthday, with a big group) and she refused to even sit in her high chair. Or on our laps. Or in a chair. And when I tried to make her, she rolled around on the floor and threw a giant tantrum.

It was so frustrating. And embarrassing. I felt like I was being judged, like people were analyzing my response, or simply assuming that we have a bad kid.

I feel like I’m good with discipline at home, where I can control her surroundings. Where I can put her in her usual time-out corner, or if necessary, give her a spanking without the watchful eyes of strangers. But in a busy restaurant it seems impossible. And I just want to avoid making a scene. And I’m tired of taking turns scarfing down my meal while Mr. Right walks around with her, only to trade and take my turn. It’s so stressful. I come home so tired. I just don’t want to anymore.

She also threw a GIANT tantrum at GAP last week. Granted, she was on the tail end of croup, but she was so bad and threw so many tantrums (SO MANY TANTRUMS) during our 20-minute visit that she even broke a display sign. I was so embarrassed. And of course there was a long line which gave her a LOT of time to throw her tantrum. And of course I had a coupon that expired that day, so I needed to stand in that long line.

So there it is… our real life. I’m not asking for discipline tips. In fact, please don’t leave them. We have regrouped and know that this is a marathon and not a sprint. That this is an age-appropriate issue  And most of the time sweet Wrenn is the most delightful child, who loves people and has a big heart and wants to please. And I realize that these past two weeks she has been sick, which means she has contributed to extra tantrums from feeling so crummy.

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I know that this is a phase and someday it will end. And in the meantime there are so many wonderful moments to cherish. SO MANY.

But I’m still tired. Being a mom is hard.

Friends… if you’re feeling brave, share something REAL going on with you in the comments below so that the rest of us can have a ME TOO moment.

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be strong and courageousFor prints and other lovelies, visit Texas Lovely on Etsy.

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by Bethe

When you hear “We’ll have your test results tomorrow” and you forget all that scripture you used to know

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Twice in the past six months we’ve heard a doctor say, “We’ll have the test results tomorrow,” and known that those results could potentially change our lives. Forever.

First was last fall, when Mr. Right had an MRI to rule out cancer and M.S. as the cause of his facial pain and swelling, which was mimicking shingles but turned out not to be shingles. We spent a long night looking at each other nervously, wondering if the next day we would hear the dreaded words, “cancer.” Or, “M.S.”

I’d like to say that I was calm and quoted scripture and had total faith that God was in control. But I’d be lying. Instead, I did a lot of crying and fretting and begging God to not let it be either of those horrible things. To let my husband be okay. I knew in my gut that I trusted God, that he was a good God and that he was in control, but I wish that that truth had translated into calmness on the outside.

It didn’t. And I stayed up all night worrying.

The next day we got the results… all clear. Some of the most beautiful words we’ve ever heard.

And then we heard those words again last week. “We’ll have the test results first thing in the morning.” This time those words were for my daughter, who was on week three of a mysterious fever that just wouldn’t go away. The doctor was concerned she might have Kawasaki Disease, something that can cause major heart damage in young children. The doctor was so concerned that he ran a STAT (rushed) blood test and told us if the results came back positive the following morning, our baby girl would be immediately admitted to the hospital for treatment. He used words like “heart cath” and “serious.”

As a mama, well, my heart stopped. While we were in the waiting room, waiting to get little Wrenn’s blood drawn, Mr. Right told me we’d be okay, that he was confident that the results would be fine. Our baby girl looked healthy. And I had to tell him that I couldn’t speak, because I might break down in tears right there in the waiting room.

And then I went home and cried and held my precious child and prayed over her. I knew our Sunday School class and family were praying for us, specifically that we would be calm and get some sleep, and we actually did. All three of us had an amazing night of sleep, which was a miracle. And the next morning God woke me up early and he and I spent some great time together, me handing my child over to him in my prayers, telling God that I knew he could sustain us through anything, even a hospital stay. That I knew that God loved my child even more than I did.

It wasn’t pretty. There were tears, but there was me clinging to God’s promise that he wouldn’t leave or forsake me. That his peace would be with me.

And about 9:30 that morning, we got the news that the tests came back clear. It wasn’t Kawasaki Disease. And we celebrated.

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We finally found out today that it was simply a UTI. That, along with a long bout of croup at the beginning, and what I think may have been teething, and possibly a bout of Hand Foot Mouth has caused little Wrenn’s body to have a fever for 22 days in a row. But through it all, he has protected my little girl, from asthma complications, from Kawasaki Disease, from many other things I don’t even know about. He has been good to us. And we are thankful.

I hope we never have to hear the words, “We’ll have the test results in the morning” again, but if I do, I hope that each time, I will be a little stronger as I cling to God’s promises of comfort and peace and strength.

by Bethe

Don’t waste your pretty: My annual Valentine’s post

***This blog post has become a bit of a Texas Lovely Valentine’s tradition. It was originally given as a Sunday School lesson/pep talk in 2010 to a group of single women in their 20s-30s back before I ever dated Mr. Right. I hope you enjoy!

I was single for 30 years, and I will admit that I used to hate Valentine’s Day, because it was just highlighting the fact that I was still single. Probably the only one – or so it seemed. So a few years ago I gave this pep talk to my Sunday School class to encourage my fellow single friends that we could survive our single years, and not only survive… but do it fabulously. Here’s what I told them:

How to survive your single years:

1. Your fabulousness isn’t determined by your relationship status.
Sometimes that’s hard to remember when you see all your friends post pics of their beautiful husbands/boyfriends/babies, and you’re home hanging out with your Schnoodle. But whether or not you have a Valentine does not determine your value.

2. No pity dates.
It seems like yesterday. I was 24. I had a boyfriend. And yet some sweet clueless boy in my singles group at church cornered me and asked me on a date. To a Joel Olsteen rally. (Bless him.) I was so caught off-guard, and so worried about hurting this poor boy’s feelings that I panicked and blurted out “I’ll email you.” My boyfriend was obviously mad when I told him, and it just delayed the inevitable rejection. From that point on I decided that I would learn to be good at saying no. And I did. It’s a great life skill to have. I found that guys really do want a direct answer – and for you, it’s like ripping off a band-aid… you can just get it over with.

No pity dates girls. Even if he tells you that God told him you’re the Ruth to his Boaz. If God didn’t tell you, it’s okay to say NO.

3. Don’t waste your pretty.
We all know that the bible says not to be unequally yoked. Meaning, if you’re a believer, then you need to only date believers. No missionary “I can change him!” dating. Don’t even dip your toe in the water, or you may fall in.

But it’s not just because God wants to take away your fun and eliminate what seems like 95% of the hot guy dating pool. God has a better plan for you – check out Ephesians 5:25-33 and know that having a husband who “washes you with the Word” is such a total treat. Wait for a man who will pray for you. Who will lead you and your children well. Who will love you in the same sacrificial, intentional way that Christ loves his church. It’s worth the wait, even if it seems like you have to wait forever. I promise.

4. Being single doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. 
Well-meaning people used to infer that people were single because God had some work he needed to do in their hearts. Like somehow the entire singles department was made up of weirdos, and the entire young marrieds department had everything together.

Ummm… have you seen some of the crazy people who are married out there?  God’s still going to refine you after marriage. Probably more. But there may be other reasons why you’re still single.

You may be single because God wants to use you to encourage another single girl. I think God kept me single for what seemed like FOREVER because he wanted some older girls to encourage those sweet 22-year-old girls who thought life would end if they weren’t engaged when they got that college degree. My 29-year-old self showed them that life isn’t over if you aren’t living the white picket fence American dream. God is a whole lot more creative than the American dream.

Or, your Mr. Right may not be ready for you yet. God did a major work in my Mr. Right’s life, and we just wouldn’t have been a good fit a few years ago. Plus he lived in Colorado, and I would have hated long-distance dating. But when the time was right… he practically dropped in my lap. He moved suddenly from Oklahoma to Fort Worth and then drove FORTY-FIVE MINUTES to my church – I have assured him that I prayed him all the way here. So keep praying for your future man… he may have a long commute to get here.

5. Find an adventure.
I decided I would use my time to travel. And I did – three trips to Europe, plus I traveled all over the US and to Mexico… basically anytime a friend or family member was up for a trip, I was the first to volunteer. And because of that, I watched sunsets on the beach in Greece and saw my Rangers beat the Yankees in New York. I ran a half marathon, learned to quilt, got a master’s degree, took salsa lessons… no need to sit at home on Friday nights wondering where your man is. Go find an adventure.

6. Serve. Serve. Serve.
“Let us not become weary of doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

While you’re waiting for Mr. Right, keep yourself busy by serving others. You’ll end up having a blast, and when you’re focusing on others you have less time to sit and worry about when your prince charming will make his grand entrance.

7. Don’t make all guys pay for the sins (or extreme stupidity) of just one.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.” (Eph. 4:31-32)

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you. I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel 36:26)

There’s nothing uglier than bitterness. The cutest girls are the ones with sweet spirits.

8. When you DO date… don’t peace out on your church and your ministry.
We’ve all seen someone do the break-up walk of shame back to church… they fell in love and disappeared from the face of the planet. And then somebody changed their mind, and whoops, she’s back. Don’t be that girl. But if you see that girl… go love on her, because she probably could use a friend.

9. NEVER compromise your morals. Remember your lines and don’t cross them.
Know your limits in advance… because in the heat of the moment, when that cute guy looks at you with those big brown eyes… you’re probably not going to make good decisions. So already have your mind made up – it’s worth it.

10. Remember that God’s timing is PERFECT. He has a plan for you. He keeps his promises, and he has not forgotten about you.
“The Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him.” (Isaiah 30:18)

“Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” Hebrews 10:35-36

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust you.” Isaiah 26:3

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il_570xN.553634680_5tueHave you seen my newest print in the shop?

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by Bethe

Thrifty Thursday: DIY Vintage Chalkboards

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I have this weird love for chalkboards, even though I’m not artistic and have pretty terrible handwriting. But this didn’t stop me from bringing more chalkboards into the house. I figured, make it now, figure out the details later.

Mr. Right scored us some gorgeous vintage doors FOR FREE from an elderly lady who was selling her house and happy to get rid of them. We have two more left that we’re saving for a special project which will probably happen sometime around 2018 (we have a big project list).

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It was a pretty quick project. We lightly sanded the doors and then simply painted the edges white and the used chalkboard paint to paint the centers. They don’t match exactly, but I like to think it adds a little to the charm.

Then, Mr. Right simply screwed them into our wall with a drill and voila… a whole wall of chalkboards! They have turned into endless hours of entertainment for all three of us, including little Wrenn, who adds her own artwork to the bottom (see some of her work below).IMG_1589

It was my genius sister who suggested I use Pinterest as inspiration for my chalk art. And so you’ll see some familiar pics over here on my Chalkboard Pinterest Board. I’ve found that being imperfect makes it quirky and lovely. Perfection is not the goal.

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I hope these doors tell stories and share encouragement and bring delight and provide our children a canvas for creating masterpieces for many years to come.

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PrintFor prints and other lovelies, visit Texas Lovely on Etsy.

Other places you can find Texas Lovely:

On Facebook: www.facebook.com/texaslovelyshop
On Instagram: texas_lovely

by Bethe

What I Wore Wednesday

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{sweater – gift  |  jeans  |  shoes – old (similar)  | t-shirt – old  | necklace – gift}

Am I the only gal who kind of let herself go over the past few years? It wasn’t on purpose. I remember myself being fairly fashion-forward during most of my 20s. And I had a decent amount of disposable income, few responsibilities, and a large clothing budget.

I always thought of it as marketing. Marketing myself at work as a professional (with a job in PR, image is extremely important). Marketing myself outside of work as marriable. I needed to look nice, because I never knew when I was going to cross paths with Mr. Right, right? (Ironically enough, he fell for me one night while I was wearing an old t-shirt and had my hair throw into a ponytail… not one of those “I’m pretending not to care but it took me two hours” kind of outfits. No, this was a “I really don’t feel like hosting this party so I’m just going to throw something on at the last minute” outfit. And somehow I snagged myself a husband! God has a sense of humor.)

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{vest- gift  |  jeans – old (Banana)  |  shirt- old (J Crew Outlet)   | boots – old}

But back to clothes. I got married and immediately gained 15 pounds and cut my budget WAY back. And then I had a baby, and none of my clothes fit with the extra weight I carried around after I delivered that precious baby. And then I got a job with a casual work environment, where I worked a few days a week from home in my pajamas. And, well, let’s just say that it has been a good 18 months of t-shirts and yoga pants and a whole lot of dry shampoo.

For 2015, I’ve decided to try to dress up more. Really use all the clothes in my closet (and if I’m not going to use them, sell them on Facebook to go toward my Mama Wants New Curtains Fund). Not necessarily buy more clothes, or go super fancy… but just have fun with clothes again. To stop being afraid and just go for it… to feel put together, even if it’s just me and the kiddo at home surrounded by toys.

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{military jacket – thrifted  |  jeans  |  shoes  | t-shirt – old}

It turns out, many of the things in my closet can be easily tweaked to follow some of the latest trends. At least, my version of trends.

I’m linking up to The Pleated Poppy and her What I Wore Wednesday post. And for the record, I’m still using a heck of a lot of dry shampoo. Because, motherhood, right?WIW4

{left photo: all old  | right photo: top, everything else – old}

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il_570xN.524050111_subdFor prints and other lovelies, visit Texas Lovely on Etsy.

Other places you can find Texas Lovely:

On Facebook: www.facebook.com/texaslovelyshop
On Instagram: texas_lovely

by Bethe

Vintage Texas Lovely: A Throwback of some of my most awkward dates

In honor of Valentine’s Day, here’s a throwback post from the archives, originally published Feb. 6, 2010 (ironically enough, just a few weeks before Mr. Right and I started dating). It’s funny to look back at the MANY (there were SO MANY) awkward dates I had. Oh Mr. Right, you are such a catch!

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In honor of Valentine’s Day, I came up with a list of some of my funniest, most embarrassing or most awkward dates.

The Money Date: On one of my first dates in high school, the heart throb of my youth group asked me out to dinner and a movie. Only he didn’t bring enough cash, and in my naiveté I hadn’t thought to bring money of my own, so we had to leave the movie ticket line, drive to his parents’ house, and borrow money from them. You can bet that I have never gone on a date since without plenty of cash, just in case.

The Imodium Date: I had been dating a guy for only a few weeks when we went to a little sandwich shop to grab lunch. Halfway through the meal I felt horribly nauseous and had to excuse myself to the bathroom. Once there, I wanted to curl up in a ball on the floor of that nasty public restroom and die a slow death. When I finally emerged after ten LONG minutes of humiliation, my new boyfriend offered to take me home, but I had to hang my head in shame and admit that I wasn’t sure I could make the drive home just yet. So we had to awkwardly stay at the restaurant while I managed to become ill several more times before I could brave the ride home and crawl into my bed. I was so surprised to hear from him again.

Someone didn’t do their homework: On a recent Valentine’s day, a guy surprised me with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. And then an hour later, another guy surprised me with another bouquet of flowers. Apparently guy #2 didn’t do his homework to check to see if I was dating anybody.

The Caulking Date: I had to go to a $500 a plate black-tie gala as part of my job, needed a date, and didn’t have any good guy friends I could bring. My sweet friend offered to set me up with one of her law school buddies, but there was one hitch: he had a golf tournament and wouldn’t have time to go home and clean up before our big night out, so he would need to shower and get ready at my house. At the time I lived in an old rent house with a very old shower, so I spent half my Saturday scrubbing and caulking the shower tiles so they’d look good for the boy. He finally showed up at my house, all sweaty and dirty, I answered the door in my nicest black formal dress, and after a quick introduction I showed him to my room. While he showered, my two roommates and I just sat on our couch in the living room and giggled at the weirdness of a strange boy in my bedroom (I was NEVER in the bedroom with him). About 20 minutes later he emerged in his tuxedo, we hopped in the pumpkin carriage and headed to the ball. It was just like Cinderella, but with a caulking gun.

The Eskimo: My first boyfriend in college was was an atheist eskimo. Trust me when I tell you that it ended the moment I discovered my Alaskan friend was an atheist.

The Punch: Once on a date, my boyfriend accidentally punched me in the face. We had snuck in late to a movie, it was pitch-black, and as he whipped off his jacket, his fist hit me HARD in the eye. Of course it was a freak accident, but he felt horrible for the rest of the evening and begged me not to tell my dad. Lucky for him, the bruising was minimal.

The Spill: I dated a guy who was absolutely in love with his car. He put a car cover on it EVERY SINGLE DAY when he went to work – that thing was spotless. So you can imagine my horror (and his) when one hot summer day my rocky road ice cream cone melted ALL OVER the inside of his car. A chocolate, sticky mess everywhere.

The Mojo Killer: I was at a networking luncheon and a handsome stranger (sans wedding ring) got in the lunch line behind me. I was trying my hardest to look desirable yet cool when an old colleague came up to me, right in front of him, and said, “Oh Bethe… we’re all worried that you’re NEVER going to find someone. Are you EVER going to get married????” Awesome.

Probably A Bad Match: On my most recent blind date, I knew things probably weren’t going well when he (1) refused to talk about church, (2) threw down a few cuss words, (3) talked about getting so drunk that he had to walk home the night before, and (4) told me he drove to Dallas three nights a week to play in various kick ball leagues. Really… kickball?? Luckily I was able to drown my disappointment in molten chocolate cake, so it wasn’t a total waste.

And for the most random moment in my dating history: one Christmas I got asked out by one of Santa’s elves. Seriously. I said no.

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il_570xN.665559259_8u9tHave you downloaded my quick and easy budget? It’s available at Texas Lovely on Etsy.

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by Bethe

Lately: Real Life

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1. Wrenn is on day 15 of fever. First it was croup (which Mr. Right and I also caught a milder version of), then we think she was teething, then the doc said the croup fever may linger for awhile, and then over the weekend she had some weird allergic reaction to something on her feet that’s making them blister and itch horribly (it’s not hand foot mouth, because we’ve both had that before and the blisters are different). And yesterday, on day 14, her fever was 101 (today she was fever free for a few hours before it crept back up to 100). Poor child has had a rough go of it and has been on quarantine for half the month. She’s getting a little stir crazy, as are her parents. (But again… praise Jesus for her asthma, which is still being controlled well by her meds.)

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2. Last weekend we took ourselves temporarily off quarantine to go to the rodeo with Mr. Right’s family. The rodeo for them is kind of like the Super Bowl – my father-in-law is a team roper and my husband grew up showing livestock for 4-H. So, the family starts planning for the rodeo about five months early. Little Wrenn, of course, had the perfect outfit and considering it was 75 degrees in February, it was a glorious day. Wrenn LOVED it and sat through almost the entire two hours… it was such a joy to watch her experience it, wide-eyed.

3. Our new ESL semester started back last week and it was SO GOOD. We had been praying for new teachers and God provided three new ones, plus some new students. Not to mention that seeing our students after a two month break is SO SWEET. We love our students so much, we’ve had one stay at our house recently, we’ve been to graduation parties and family gatherings and shared many meals with them and been to their homes. They’re some of our dearest friends. So, after a two month break, you can imagine how happy I was to see them again.

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4. My dishwasher broke. I joked that I feel like Little House on the Prairie, but I must admit, of all the appliances to bite the dust, I’m glad it was this one, as I’m kind of a hand-washing pro. That’s what happens when your husband is a great cook (you do dishes) and when you’ve got a baby (you do lots and lots and lots of hand washing). It’s actually a little bit therapeutic. Now, if I still don’t have a new dishwasher by next month, I probably won’t speak of it quite as fondly.

5. Our dog ran away. Harley the Wonder Schnoodle, the dog I’ve had since college, snuck out when we were loading the car and we didn’t know it. He was gone almost an hour, and thankfully we discovered through our neighborhood website that a kind neighbor had taken him in. God bless technology. So glad he’s home.

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6. With all of this quarantine business, I’ve had plenty of time to catch up on some quilting. Stay tuned for a Work in Progress post on my scrappy quilt. She’s pretty.

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7. I’ve been blogging for the Fort Worth Moms Blog since last summer, and I’ve got a post up this week that features a fabric bunting tutorial and also a free Valentine’s print download. I hope you’ll go check it out. (And leave a comment on that post so the editors feel warm fuzzies toward me… cool?)

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il_570xN.665559259_8u9tHave you downloaded my quick and easy budget? It’s available at Texas Lovely on Etsy.

Other places you can find Texas Lovely:

On Facebook: www.facebook.com/texaslovelyshop
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by Bethe

Peace, love, and a contest winner

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Praise the Lord for a God who loves us with an unshakable love, whose peace can never be taken away, who shows compassion on me. His mercies are new every morning, aren’t they?

Thanks to everyone who entered the contest for the Adopting Dallas t-shirt. So much has happened since I wrote that post – they are suddenly six weeks away from having a baby boy! Can you believe it?! Not only that but they raised about $5,000 in just one week, and you, dear friends, were a part of it.

There’s still time to order a shirt, but the deadline is February 9.

And now for the winner of the free shirt! Congrats to Diana, who’s a new mom herself. Watch your mailbox for a special delivery!

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il_570xN.665559259_8u9tFor prints and other lovelies, visit Texas Lovely on Etsy.

Other places you can find Texas Lovely:

On Facebook: www.facebook.com/texaslovelyshop
On Instagram: texas_lovely

by Bethe

Thrifty Thursday: It’s all about the accessories

TT - Cowgirl

Here’s one thing I’ve learned since becoming a mom: kids come out of the womb pre-wired for certain things. I remember discussing nature vs. nurture in my sociology and psychology classes back at Baylor and being pretty convinced that nurture was the stronger of the two.

And then I had a baby girl who came out of the womb with a love of accessories. And all girlie things, really, and well, that theory went down the diaper genie with the rest of the dirty diapers.

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The other day I told Wrenn we had to go run an errand and started herding her toward the car. She ran back to her playroom and grabbed her cowboy hat, her purse, and her headband (she doesn’t WEAR the headband, but she likes to carry it around and show it to you). Upon arriving at the dry cleaners, she walked in like she owned the place. She was SO PROUD of her outfit, and the shop owner could barely stifle her laughter. Then, a big, burly man walked in, spotted Wrenn, and he melted all over the floor.

Little cowgirls in pink leopard footie pajamas tend to do that. To everybody. Yeehaw.

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PrintFor prints and other lovelies, visit Texas Lovely on Etsy.

Other places you can find Texas Lovely:

On Facebook: www.facebook.com/texaslovelyshop
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by Bethe

Croup and Thankfulness

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Poor sweet Wrenn had croup all last week. Like, seven days in a row of fever, a few days of that horrible seal cough (if you’ve been around croup, you know what I mean), lots of asthma, SEVERE FUSSINESS, and more snot than I knew could possibly come out of such a tiny girl.

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It was a rough week, and yet, all I could feel was thankfulness that her asthma continued to stay under control. After last fall, when every round of asthma attacks got scarier and scarier… I have a different perspective on having a sick baby. All I could do was thank God that my little girl could breathe.

Now, excuse me while I go wash all the snot out of both of our clothes. And take a nap… or 12.

PS – Today is the LAST DAY to enter my giveaway for the free Adopting Dallas t-shirt. Details and enter here. Contest ends Monday, Feb. 2 at 6:00 p.m. Central.

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photo 1 (31)For prints and other lovelies, visit Texas Lovely on Etsy.

Other places you can find Texas Lovely:

On Facebook: www.facebook.com/texaslovelyshop
On Instagram: texas_lovely