The Latest, The End of Maternity Leave, & A Give-Away

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Sometimes I worry that all folks pull from this blog is that motherhood is hard, that baby has colic, that life is hectic, and I’m overwhelmed.

But our life is so much more than that. And let me tell you, Month Two with my baby girl has been So. Much. Fun. It’s like we woke up around Week 5 and everybody understood each other (I think the fact that we also started sleeping more has a lot to do with it). We have found a routine. She smiles and coos and is so cute I can barely stand it. She only wakes up once a night (PRAISE THE LORD, HALLELUJAH). And we’ve found some ways to help soothe the colicky spells – not totally eliminate them, but GREATLY reduce their frequency and duration.

But more about little Wrenn in her Two Month post, which will be soon. This post is just a hodge podge of what we’ve been up to.

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I’m back at the gym and loving it. Because my pregnancy was so darn difficult I hadn’t worked out a bit in 10 months, which meant that those first few workouts were humbling. Like, the first time I tried to do crunches and push-ups I could barely do five (those poor stomach muscles had been stretched to the max). But it’s amazing how quickly your body gets strong – each day I feel more and more like my old self.

I’ve never been one to love working out, but now going to the gym has become my “me time” and something I actually enjoy. I still haven’t figured out how I’m going to fit it in after I return to work, but we’ll take it one week at a time.

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In addition to working out, I’m also trying to eat healthier to drop the last 15 pounds of baby weight that I’m still holding onto. Mr. Right, his parents and I are doing the My Fitness Pal app on our phones, which tracks your fitness and food intake. I’m a fan because I get an extra 500 calories a day from nursing – which certainly helps when I feel like a little splurge.

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We took another roadtrip last week, this time to Midland to celebrate our niece and nephew’s birthdays (she’s four, he’s one). This time we felt like pros, knowing what to pack (and packing lighter), and Wrenn did great in the car. The only bad part was when she puked ALL OVER me (dripped down my shirt and gathered into a pool in my pocket) and Mr. Right was gone with the car and hotel key and I had to wear my vomit-soaked clothes for three hours. Yep, rookie mom mistake. I’m learning.

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Mr. Right and I have managed to have several fun date nights without Wrenn. As much as I love my baby, let’s face it – mama loves her date nights. I think Mr. Right kind of enjoys them too! Now that they’re less frequent, they seem to be “bigger” – we’ve done dinner at Reata (my fave) and Texas de Brazil (his favorite), as well as a night at a movie tavern (I think dinner WHILE watching a movie was invented for nursing moms who live in three-hour chunks of time).

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Speaking of nursing… (boys close your ears)… I’m now taking a few supplements because Little Miss has suddenly become a VERY good eater and frankly I’m having trouble keeping up. One of my vitamins makes you smell like maple syrup. All. The. Time. It’s like the International House of Pancakes over here in our home. But I guess there are worse things to smell like then my favorite kind of breakfast. (If you’re wondering, I’m taking Fenugreek and Mother’s Milk tea, along with chugging gallons of water.)

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I’m headed back to work tomorrow. I’m a little sad to leave Wrenn (a lot sad, actually), but also excited to see my work friends. I’m not really sure how the morning routine is going to go, and I’m pretty sure it’ll take me an hour to pack both of our bags tonight, but we’ll figure it out. I know it will get easier… but in the meantime you won’t waste a prayer on me this week. I’m determined not to cry!

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In honor of another transition, I’m holding a give-away for a free “Be Still” print in my shop. All you have to do is leave a comment on this post – it can be encouragement about going back to work, a motherhood tip, or just a random “hi” – whatever it is, just leave it and I’ll hold a drawing on Sunday.

PS–Mr. Right has added a few of his own creations to the shop – leather goods! Go check it out – I’ve used one like this one for almost two years now and LOVE it.

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Other places you can find Texas Lovely:
On Facebook: www.facebook.com/texaslovelyshop
On Instagram: texas_lovely
On Etsy

Oh no! Not Colic!

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When I read my baby books (just two – I’m trying to be one of those laid-back mamas… ha), every time I came to the section on colicky babies, I would stop and pray, “Lord, please don’t let my baby have colic.” I think it was the part where they said the definition of colic was crying for three hours a day at least three days a week.

Whoa.

And what do you know, we are one of the 10% of babies who have colic. And you know what? It stinks. REALLY stinks. But you know what else? We’re getting through it, because just like everything else, you don’t have a choice. Kind of like that prayer I prayed before we got pregnant: “Lord, please don’t let me be one of those girls who gets morning sickness.” Yeah, we all know how that one turned out – six months of eating nothing but baked potatoes and tortilla chips and popping Zofran like the were Skittles.

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, and you just have to adjust. Which is what we’re doing. We have a wonderfully delightful baby girl about 21 hours a day. She smiles and coos and is just so much fun. But the other three hours that happen every evening where the poor thing screams bloody murder, clinches her little fists and kicks her legs because her little tummy hurts her so badly?

That part really stinks.

I’ll admit – I’ve even shed a few tears along with my little Wrenn – it’s hard to watch your baby hurt, and I have yet to figure out how to tune out the crying. My more tenured mom friends have assured me that at some point you can ignore it – but right now it both grates on my nerves and breaks my heart at the same time.

I just want to make it better, you know?

So, fellow mamas, here’s where we need your help. We are willing to try almost anything to bring Baby Girl some comfort. So far we’ve tried:

1. Mylicon drops

2. Mommy Bliss/Gripe Water drops

3. Tummy massage

4. Baby Probiotics (we’re buying these today, so we’ll let you know if they help)

5. Swinging (sort of kind of occasionally helps a little)

6. Taking her outside (her favorite – but it’s 105 degrees outside so it’s not our best option for the whole three hours – mama gets kind of sweaty)

7. Driving her in the car (people keep suggesting this, but she just screams bloody murder, which just makes mama cry… so not our solution)

The number one thing that seems to soothe her is nursing, which means I typically nurse her off and on all evening – on several occasions she has nursed for 90 minutes straight (which wears this mama out). Her doctor said it was fine because my skinny mini could benefit from a little extra weight. Eventually the nursing makes her fall asleep, which is the only time she feels relief. Which is the point where mama and daddy then breathe a sigh of relief and consider taking up drinking.

I kid. Kind of.

The good news is that she gets so worn out from crying every evening that she sleeps like a CHAMP at night. She has started going six hours from her evening feeding to her first night feeding… and last night we only did one middle-of-the-night feeding. It was like Christmas, New Year’s and the 4th of July all wrapped in one. Wow. Thanks Baby Girl, your mama has missed her sleep! And if I had to choose, I guess sleeping through the night is worth a few hours of incessant crying.

So, fellow mamas who have walked this colicky road before me – do you have any other secrets? And how long did your baby’s colic last? Tell me it stops before they leave for college?

Our weekend get-away

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I’m a bit of a gypsy at heart–I have a NEED to travel and explore and get away from my everyday responsibilities. But a difficult pregnancy meant that the only place we travelled in the past 10 months was a 2-day anniversary get-away (where I was still mildly nauseous). So we were due for a trip, I was off work with maternity leave, and we weren’t going to let a little challenge like traveling with a newborn stop us.

We came THIS CLOSE to booking a few plane tickets to go on a BIG adventure but then we realized that was insane, taking a big trip with a newborn. We came to our senses and came up with Plan B, a trip within driving distance with no agenda.

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Y’all, packing for a 5-week-old is HARD!! Thank goodness for a strong husband and a big car. And car adapters for breast pumps.

Mr. Wright, Wrenn, Harley the Wonder Schnoodle and I loaded up and drove 800 miles round-trip to a relative’s lake house on Grand Lake in Northeastern Oklahoma. We split up the drive by staying with our grandmother outside Oklahoma City one night on the way up and back, and while there got to show off this precious baby to all of Mr. Right’s relatives.

I had a very simple to-do list for my lake get-away:

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1. Drink my morning coffee on the patio overlooking the lake.
2. Go on a long walk.

I did both, and not a whole lot else. The weather was a perfect 70 degrees most of the time, and we laid out by the pool, cuddled with Wrenn, ate leisurely dinners, went to bed early, and relaxed. I was able to clear my head, come up with some new goals (like start cooking healthy again), and break out of my new mommy fog for a bit.

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I came home feeling more like “me” than I have since I got pregnant. In the 24 hours since  I’ve been home I have cooked a healthy dinner, organized my home office, sewn, and taken a bubble bath.

I’m back, my friends. I’m back.

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Don’t forget about my  “Fearfully & Wonderfully Made” print on sale – it’s an instant download, which means you can print it yourself – no shipping charges. Sale price is just $5. It makes for a wonderful baby gift.

Happy One Month Wrenn!

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Dear Wrenn,

Happy one month birthday! I can’t believe that it’s been a whole month since I held you in my arms for the first time. It seems like a lifetime ago that I looked into those big blue eyes of yours for the first time. You are the answer to my prayers and it is a joy to be your mama.

The three of us have hit a groove lately – your daddy and I now know what you like – and don’t like. You’ve settled into a bit of a routine, and you’ve turned into a great sleeper at night (thank you!), often sleeping 3-4 hours at a time and always going right back to sleep after I feed you. You’ve got a little bit of colic that makes your afternoons/early evenings a little rough. I wish I could fix that upset tummy of yours, but we will get through it and I hear in another month it should be much better. In the meantime, feeding seems to be the best way to soothe you, and so that’s what we do.

You love to be outside. You love lullabies, especially when I sing along. Luckily you haven’t noticed yet that I’m tone-deaf. You have been to many restaurants and always sleep through dinner in your car seat, completely oblivious to the chaos around you. You’ve been to the Perot Science Museum, to both of our workplaces, to the hardware store, to show houses with your realtor daddy… and of course, on a few ice cream dates with us. You love to ride in the car and are wonderful on the go (and everybody who sees you comments on how beautiful you are… I agree).

You are long and lean – so lean in fact, that you’re still in premie and newborn clothes. Pants and bloomers don’t stay on, so you live in onesies and dresses, and you always look adorable. You have the cutest wrinkles on your arms and legs, and the longest feet I’ve ever seen on a baby. You love to be swaddled, and you love to sleep on your daddy’s chest. He is exceptionally good at calming you down when you’re upset, and he’s the one that gives you all of your baths, which you don’t love yet, but I bet that changes next month.

You are wide-eyed and spend 3-4 hours at a time awake and taking in the world around you. I love to prop you up against my legs and have conversations with you – you stare so intently at me and smile and coo and make the funniest faces. I will never get tired of admiring you, sweet girl.

I love you more today than the day I met you, and I can’t wait to see what next month brings. You are my joy and my delight. I love you, Wrenn Olivia!

-Mommy

On a lighter note: This week

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For those of you wondering, this has been a much better week. Life is starting to gain an almost predictable rhythm. I’m learning that Wrenn is wide awake ALL MORNING (that’s not normal for a newborn, to be awake four straight hours… right?), and so I’m trying to just be open to creating a routine around playing, tummy time, carrying her around, etc. during her awake times, and then trying to get things done (or sleep… usually sleep) in the afternoon when she finally sleeps. At night, we’re still all over the page, but thankfully she’s mostly awake to eat, which is much better than those early days where she spent much of her nights crying. She’s sleeping in her nursery, and I am on Season 4 of Weeds on Netflix, which I watch on my iPad while we feed… it gives me something to look forward to during those 3:00 a.m. feedings.

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It has been a pretty good week. Last night we had our very first date night where we left her at home with her grandparents. It was crazy hard and also a little bit wonderful – it’s a huge priority for me to continue to date Mr. Right now that we have a kiddo. It felt kind of amazing to put on heels and (maternity… shh… don’t tell) skinny jeans and my new thrifted shirt and go out to a fancy dinner at Texas de Brazil as a belated birthday date to celebrate his 30th, just the two of us.

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I got cleared by my doctor to take baths and go swimming. Considering hot bubble baths are my favorite hobby, this was a welcome development.

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Mr. Right brought me breakfast in bed. And not just any old breakfast – no, he pays attention to even the smallest details. Isn’t it pretty?

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Other than that, we’ve mostly been playing and snuggling and mall walking and dining with family and playing dress up and celebrating every poopy diaper. Things are good.

How to love and care for a new mom

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I have a confession. Caring for a newborn while recovering from childbirth while never sleeping more than 90 minutes at a time while serving as a round-the-clock drink dispenser is HARD.

Add in some crazy hormones and, well, it can be a little overwhelming.

Hello understatement of the year.

These past three weeks as a first-time mama have yielded some wonderful, precious moments of cuddling a content newborn against my chest, inhaling her new baby scent, of watching my sweet husband love on this itty bitty thing that we created together and kissing those tiny baby toes. The past three weeks have also brought me to the edge of a nervous breakdown, making me cry more tears than I knew was humanly possible. I have never been more tired, more run down, more worried and more unsure of myself than ever before.

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Obviously I’m rocking this motherhood thing… about 20 percent of the time. The rest of the time – when this cute baby was refusing to eat, crying hysterically in the middle of the night, or I was waking up drenched from hormonal night sweats while hurting in places I didn’t know could hurt… well, that’s a different story.

That’s where our friends and family stepped in and helped keep me sane. Being a new mama means that every ounce of energy you have goes to caring for (and feeding) that adorable baby. It helps to have other people who want to care for (and feed) you so you can take care of your baby.  In that spirit, here are some ways to love and care for a new mom:

1. Offer to come watch the baby so she can sleep. This is by far the greatest gift folks gave me – friends, family, heck, at some point I would have welcomed a stranger off the street. They graciously offered to simply snuggle the baby so that I could take a 2-hour nap… uninterrupted, not worrying about every little peep she made. After several sleepless nights in a row, two hours of uninterrupted sleep is one of the sweetest things on earth.

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2. Bring snacks. Right after we came home from the hospital, some friends of ours came to visit and brought an entire gift bag full of snacks for me to eat while breastfeeding. Since the rumors are true – you really do drink like a camel and have the hunger of a lion – and you’re living in a fog where things like feeding yourself move to the bottom of the priority list, having a bag full of granola bars, fish crackers, wheat thins, and even candy (for those especially hard moments) handy to grab during a middle-of-the-night feeding helps so much.

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3. Bring take-out. I’m one of those who feels guilty when I bring a new mom take-out because by the time I get off work, make the dinner and deliver it, it would be 9:00 p.m. and no new mom wants to eat at 9:00. So, I typically just offer to pick up take-out from the restaurant right next to my work that carries EVERYTHING. Turns out – it’s a welcome treat.  I’ve found that it doesn’t matter if someone brings a home-cooked meal or something from McDonald’s, it’s just nice to not have to worry about feeding yourself, and I have welcomed the company on days where I was starting to get stir crazy. So go ahead, don’t feel guilty about not cooking. Mama cares more about having an adult conversation anyway.

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4. Send an encouraging note/email/text/Facebook message, and don’t expect a response. Like I’ve mentioned before, I have been blessed with so many notes of encouragement over these past three weeks. Folks have told me they’re praying for me. A friend I haven’t seen since high school told me that the best thing I can do to keep from getting run down is to keep myself fed and hydrated. Others sent encouragement about breastfeeding, told me about their own experiences with raging hormones, and shared that they had been there and knew exactly what I was going through… and told me that soon things would get easier. Those notes, which I usually read in the middle of the night, were so helpful. For most, I didn’t even have the mental energy to reply, but know that they meant SO much to this overwhelmed mama. So go ahead – send some encouragement, and don’t be offended if you don’t get a response back. Soon that mama will emerge from her fog and act like a normal human again.

5. Tell her she’s doing a good job. And that soon, things will get easier. And that she’s normal. (It’s also a good idea to tell her husband that she’s normal… I’m thankful for a few people who told Mr. Right what to expect so he wasn’t surprised to wake up to baby and mama both crying during a 3:00 a.m. feeding).

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In the meantime… things seem to be settling down a little and we’re starting to see glimpses of a routine. Yesterday I rocked her to sleep while singing along to lullabies on my Pandora station and had one of those “so THIS is motherhood” moments that made my heart swell. I got a mommy massage and Mr. Right gave her her first bottle (a success!). We spent yesterday making funny faces at each other and doing tummy time and she “supervised” while I quilted (meaning, she slept in her portable seat-thingy). She even slept in her nursery for the first time last night (a huge accomplishment for me… I’m not sure she noticed the difference).

This motherhood thing is already getting SO MUCH BETTER.

Mamas – what other ways did people love and care for you after you brought baby home? Share your ideas in the comments section so we can bless the next new mom.

Wrenn’s Birth Story: Party Three

In case you missed it, here is part one and part two of Wrenn’s birth story.

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After Wrenn was born, Mr. Right and I spent about an hour with her, just the three of us. She breastfed a little, but mostly we just loved on her and savored those first few moments as a family of three. Then we welcomed back all of our family members, who had waited so patiently all day (the entire labor was 11.5 hours from the time my water broke until the time she was born), to meet our precious little girl.

Once they left, it was still several hours before I was recovered enough to move to a postpartum room. Moving me from one bed to the other was by far the most painful part of the entire childbirth process – so painful that I couldn’t sit down in a wheelchair, so they had to move me on a “people mover” – basically a dolly – and roll me down the hallway, half standing, half sitting, wrapped in a blanket at 3:30 in the morning.

Let’s just say that it wasn’t my finest moment.

I only got an hour of sleep that night because my body was still so wired from the day’s events. The next day we had visitors from around 8:00 in the morning until 10:00 that night. It was a wonderful, exhausting blur – such a joy to introduce our precious daughter to our closest friends and family (and coworkers… lot’s of coworkers since I delivered at the same place I work). I was still in a good amount of pain, but I was also able to take a shower and do my hair, which made me feel so much better.

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The second night in the hospital was much harder. Miss Wrenn decided she was no longer interested in feeding, so Mr. Right and I spent half the night trying unsuccessfully to get her to latch and eat – a two person job that left us with almost no sleep.

This is the part where I should tell you that on Wednesday, while I was in labor, we found out that Mr. Right had a fractured pelvis. It was from last month’s bicycle accident – his pain had gotten worse and worse over the past few days, and he had gotten an MRI that morning (thinking I would be induced the next day), and the results came in half-way through my labor. He was in major pain but gallantly pushed ahead with the help of some strong pain medicine his doctor called in for him.

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However, during a 2:00 a.m. feeding, he took one of those pain pills on an empty stomach. By 6:00, he was violently ill, so much so that I had to send him home to get some food in his system and sleep it off. I called my mom and asked her to come up to the hospital to help me while Mr. Right suffered alone at home. My heart broke for him.

He was sick ALL DAY LONG. Around noon we started to wonder if instead of a bad reaction to his medicine, maybe he had picked up a virus or food poisoning. Here we had a two-day-old newborn, we were scheduled to be discharged from the hospital, and I possibly had a contagious husband at home. We started thinking about Plan B, and Plan C… would he go stay with his parents? Would I take Wrenn to my parents? Could we coexist at home without exposing baby girl to germs?

I broke down and cried. This was NOT how I planned things. I so wanted to go home to my house, with my husband to help me. I’m sure the hormones and the fact that I hadn’t slept in two days didn’t help.

I’m so thankful for Wrenn’s pediatrician. I explained everything to him at her discharge visit and he told us that even if Mr. Right had a stomach virus, he wouldn’t spread it to her unless he kissed on her. He said it would be fine to go home and have him there with us. My sister offered to spend the night and help care for her so that we could both get some much-needed sleep between feedings. Mr. Right was finally okay enough to pick us up at the hospital and drive us home around 5:00 that evening.

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This is where I should mention how thankful I am for my mom and my sister who so kindly helped us out during this unexpected mini-crisis. My family, along with Mr. Right’s family, helped us so much during those first few days so that both of us could get some rest – something I just couldn’t get enough of.

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Poor Mr. Right couldn’t hold his brand-new baby that entire day. We decided it was just too risky, so he waited until Saturday morning, 24 hours after his symptoms had arrived, to get to cuddle that sweet baby of ours. He spent the entire morning with her sleeping on his chest, soaking her up. It was the sweetest thing to watch – he is such a loving daddy.

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The past three weeks have since been a blur of around-the-clock feedings, sleepless nights, visits from friends and family, and trying to find a rhythm to this new life of ours. I will admit that I have cried almost every single day (I hear it’s the hormones – I’ll be so glad when they level off again), but I have also felt such overwhelming moments of joy. After the first week we started venturing out – we had our first family date night, I took her out by myself for the first time, I ventured out for some “me time” without her for the first time. Each “first” brought satisfaction that this is our new normal as a family of three… that we can do this parenthood thing, even though at times it’s a bit messy (like when she screamed… and screamed, and SCREAMED at the store last week).

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And through it all, I am more in love with Mr. Right than I ever knew was possible. Watching him take care of both of us… taking shifts so that I could sleep, encouraging me to get out of the house alone so I could have a break, calling the lactation consultant when I became discouraged. And watching him love on his first daughter and seeing him as a dad for the first time is the sweetest sight for these tired eyes of mine.

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We are so in love with that beautiful baby girl of ours. I don’t know what we ever did without her.

Wrenn’s Birth Story: Part Two

For part one of Wrenn’s birth story, see this post.

A few hours after I got my epidural, Mr. Right, my parents, and sister were hanging out in my room, we were enjoying a good conversation, when all of a sudden my pain level spiked. I buzzed the nurse to tell her I needed a “boost” on my epidural, and when she came in she said she’d go ahead and check me to see how dilated I was. The last time she had checked me I was around a 6.

We ushered my family out of the room, and in that short amount of time I started to shake all over from pain. It was my first time all day to be in extreme pain, and I became desperate for the anesthesiologist to come back and make it better. The nurse checked me, and her voice nervously shook as she said, “Well, looks like you’re an 8… or a 9. We’re going to go call the doctor and get everything ready… things are moving VERY quickly.”

My response? “PLEASE CALL THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST FIRST!”

The hour or so after that was the worst part of the whole day. I started shaking from what I found out was a combination of pain and adrenaline. I was in the famous “transition” stage, where your body is almost ready to deliver, and as several people have put it, things get “real.” The anesthesiologist quickly came and boosted my epidural and eventually my shaking started to subside. My doctor quickly appeared and told me that she was going to let me lie there and rest for about 30 minutes in order to save some energy for pushing.   She turned out the lights and left Mr. Right and me alone to wait.

That was the hardest part of the day – my belly hurt, my lower back hurt, and the shakes came and went. I got relief from having Mr. Right rub on my belly and wipe my forehead with a wet washcloth, and I got really nervous about what I thought would be several hours of pushing. In the midst of worry, I was also overcome with thankfulness that my labor had progressed exactly as it was supposed to and that I was going to avoid having a C-section. I asked Mr. Right to pray for me, and cried and tried to gear up all my bravery to tackle the biggest part of the day.

After about 30 minutes, the doctor and a few nurses came back and set up equipment in the room for the delivery and for the baby. Everything seemed to happen quickly, and all of a sudden my doctor was talking to me, coaching me on how she wanted me to push.

She asked me if I wanted a mirror to watch everything. Now, I may have worked at a hospital for ten years, but I am absolutely terrified of blood. I knew if I saw any I would lose my nerve. I told her no, and she and the nurse kept encouraging me to get the mirror anyway. That’s when my husband, in his infinite wisdom, finally said, “Trust me, she does NOT need the mirror.” It was those little moments when he took control that made me love him so much more, and made me thankful that I had an advocate and partner who knew me well. (And let’s face it, after watching me deliver a baby – from the foot of the bed – he REALLY knows me well now.)

My doctor asked for a trial push through a contraction, and I pushed as hard as I could. My epidural was so strong I couldn’t feel a pushing sensation at all – I just pushed the way I knew in my head I was supposed to, and other than feeling like my face might explode, I couldn’t feel anything. Amazingly, I felt absolutely NO pain.

Apparently I’m a really good pusher (add that to the resume). Two more rounds of pushing and just a few minutes later, and Wrenn Olivia was here. It took less than 10 minutes and suddenly I was watching them pull her out of me, I could hear her cries, and I watched them suction fluid out of her little stomach, quickly wipe her off, and then she was lying on my chest, cradled in my arms.

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I started crying the moment I saw her, and didn’t stop for a long time. I cried so hard that both Mr. Right and my doctor asked if I was crying from pain, but it wasn’t pain at all – it was just the biggest wave of emotion that I have ever felt in my life. My baby girl was here, and I was her mother, and I had delivered her. I did it. We did it. It was the most overwhelming, wonderful feeling.

(I’m crying now as I type it… reliving that moment all over again).

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My baby girl was absolutely perfect… 7 pounds, 2 ounces, about 19 inches long (we’re not completely sure because five days later my doctor measured her as 20.75 inches long), born at 10:04 p.m. My doctor later told me, after everything calmed down, that Wrenn had come out with the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around her neck… twice. Everybody else had known (including Mr. Right), but because I had warned them before the delivery that I wanted to be on a “need to know basis,” they wisely didn’t say a word until everything was okay. I think it was all God’s doing that she came so quickly, because it meant that the cord did no damage to her. It’s just another example of God’s protection and grace during this pregnancy.

The rest of the story, which includes a very sick husband and a major change of plans, to come soon…

Wrenn’s Birth Story: Part One

It was Wednesday morning, July 10. We were scheduled to be admitted for induction that evening at 7:00. I’d been on bed rest for high blood pressure for a week, and finally decided it was time to get off my couch, do some last-minute things around the house, and make sure everything was packed and ready to go before we left for the hospital.

The night before I had suffered a bit of a pregnancy meltdown. I was so tired of being stuck at home on bed rest – I was lonely, extremely uncomfortable, and also terrified of the induction. I cried frustrated tears to Mr. Right, then went and took a bath and sobbed and sobbed until I couldn’t cry any longer. He came in and asked me what I was worried about – I realized it was stupid to be both so READY to not be pregnant anymore but also so TERRIFIED of the childbirth that was required to get her here.

The crying wore me out, I popped an Ambien and slept for ten glorious hours. Wednesday morning Mr. Right cooked me a big breakfast, then left me to get some work done and run last-minute errands before baby got here.

So back to the chores – after putting away all the laundry and finishing my bag, I started feeling really sick… and hot. I climbed onto my bed to rest, thinking I had overdone it. A few minutes later… woosh – my water broke. As soon as I felt the sensation, I jumped off the bed, and water spilled on the carpet. Thankfully none got on our bed.

I high-tailed it to the bathroom (as quickly as a giant pregnant girl can run), and climbed into our bathtub as my water continued to flow out. I called Mr. Right and told him, “My water just broke,” and he was so shocked all he could muster was, “I’m on my way home,” and hung up before we could talk anymore. As I stood there, I wondered if all of a sudden giant contractions would hit me like a freight train… but they didn’t. I had been having contractions for ten days, and I didn’t feel anything stronger than I’d been feeling all along.

I was still standing in the bathtub when he got home, afraid to leak all over our house. When he got home I finally got the nerve to climb out, get dressed, grab some last-minute items and head for the car. I wore a horrendous giant black t-shirt and work out shorts with flip-flops for the trip to the hospital and fretted that I hadn’t had time to take a shower that morning (I was hoping to have my hair done for labor – so vain).

We drove to the hospital, both of us in total shock that I was actually in labor on my own, after waiting for what seemed like an eternity for the moment to arrive. We got settled into a room and hooked up to machines. There was meconium in my water when it broke, so the nurse hooked me up to a machine that would flush out all of the dirty water and clean it so that when Wrenn was born, she wouldn’t inhale it and get it in her lungs. They had trouble hearing her heartbeat, so in went the internal monitors to better hear her heartbeat, as well as measure the intensity of my contractions. I got an IV and they started pumping me full of fluids, and we waited for the contractions to ramp up.

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Once we got settled, Mr. Right handed me a small, square box from Neiman’s. A push present – a gorgeous, sparkly cocktail ring. He told me he wanted me to have it before things got intense, before I was on any drugs, and before I had that gorgeous baby to gaze at. Throughout the day, as things got harder, he would distract me with admiring that gorgeous ring, and I wore it on my swollen finger the rest of the hospital stay.

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The contractions started to ramp up. Stronger and stronger, but not strong enough or fast enough, so after a few hours, they added some pitocin. And that’s when the contractions got REALLY strong. Even the nurse, whom we just loved, told me that my contractions were pretty intense and offered to give me some pain medicine until it was time for the epidural. I wanted to be tough – I could totally handle the pain, even though it was uncomfortable. And that’s when Mr. Right stepped in.

My wonderful husband, who knows me sometimes better than I know myself, looked me in the eye and told me to get the drugs. He told me that I wouldn’t get a medal for being a hero. That I needed to conserve my energy for a long day ahead. And, he knew that the drugs, which the nurse said would have a calming effect, would keep me – the queen of anxiety – from getting too worked up. He looked at me the way only a husband can do, and told me, “You need to do this.”

I’m so glad I listened to him.

I got the drugs, and it was the best thing I did all day. It gave me an opportunity to rest for a few hours before it was time for the epidural. It took the edge off of the pain (I could still feel the pressure from the contractions, but not that sharp pain that had been with them), and felt well enough to let family members take turns coming back and hanging out with us for a few hours.

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I came into the hospital dilated to a 3, but there was a lot of effacing that had to be done before I could progress to a 4. What seemed like half a day later, I finally made it to a 4… the contractions were even more intense, and it was time to get my epidural.

The epidural wasn’t bad at all. The anticipation of the epidural? Now THAT was bad. It was about as painful as a steroid shot in the hiney, but sitting on the side of the bed, with intense contractions, waiting for the doctor to stick me in the spine with a giant needle was terrifying. It was one of the many moments that came during the day where I got really nervous, but I knew I didn’t have a choice, so I would just have to do it. Next time I have a baby I won’t be nervous at all – it was a non-issue.

It took a little while to get the epidural calibrated correctly to take care of the pain. It never totally masked the pain like I had hoped, but it was definitely better than nothing. The weirdest part was not being able to feel my legs. After the epidural, I continued to hang out with Mr. Right and various family members as we waited for the big moment to arrive. It was turning into be a pretty enjoyable day.

A few hours passed… and that’s when things got REAL. More on that next time…

Postcard from a new mom

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Hi there blog friends – I’m still here, in case you were starting to wonder. As I write this I have a beautiful, brown-haired, big-eyed baby girl sleeping on my chest. The past 11 days have been completely overwhelming – I’ve been in total survival mode, taking things one hour at a time as we all adjust to each other. I’ve been so tired I could barely function. I have found that two solid hours of sleep in a row is suddenly one of the sweetest gifts anybody can give me. I have found that it’s possible to be way too tired to take care of yourself – to be hungry and thirsty but instead want to take the extra ten minutes to extend my nap just a *little* longer. I have found that breast feeding is frustratingly hard, although we’re starting to get the hang of it.

The past 11 days have also been some of the greatest of my life – I am so in love with this baby girl. I think about her and I just cry happy tears (see, there I go again). I look into those big eyes of hers and wonder how I could ever love someone more than I love her. I let her lie on my chest, listening to her breathe, and I feel thankfulness like i have never felt before. This is the baby that I prayed for for so long… and now she’s my baby and she’s here, and I just can’t believe it.

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Today is the first day I have been able to find words. I’ve just been too tired to open up my computer, much less type a coherent thought. I want to thank everybody who has called, texted, emailed, Facebooked me, and prayed for us. I haven’t responded to most messages simply because I don’t have anything left after caring for this little one. But each day gets a little easier, and soon I will find my stride. In the meantime, just know that I appreciate your encouragement so much. I read it during those lonely 3:00 a.m. feedings and feel like I’ve got you on my team. Thank you.

In the meantime, I’m venturing off to write Wrenn’s birth story – I want to capture the details before they slip away into the fog of far-away memories. Let me tell you that her birth was so much better than I had anticipated – I was scared to death, and instead it was such a positive experience. Mr. Right was a rock star and took fabulous care of me throughout the entire labor and delivery (and recovery… ouch), and has also taken wonderful care of little Wrenn. He is such a good father, I could cry just thinking about it.

Okay, so I still have some hormones… I hear that’s normal. There’s a lot of crying going on in my house these days. Mostly happy tears… mostly.

I’ll see you soon. Thanks for your patience.

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Photos are courtesy of McGowan Images.