Sometimes I’m amazed at how often people speak without thinking. Maybe it’s because it happens to me regularly. The “Are you pregnant?!” question seems to hit me at least once a month. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD, I WILL LET EVERYBODY KNOW WHEN I’M PREGNANT, AND UNTIL THEN STOP ASKING ME.
But you know, it doesn’t really bother me.
Just like constantly running into the sharp corner of my desk doesn’t leave giant bruises on my tushy.
So, as a public service announcement, here’s a list of things you should never say to a woman, broken into different categories. Who knows, maybe we can change the world, one avoided awkward situation at a time.
1. Oh my gosh! Are you pregnant?
2. Oh, you’re not pregnant? Must be the shirt… (when you’re wearing your favorite shirt)
3. When are you guys going to start your family? Are you trying yet? (none of your business!)
4. Are you sick?
5. You look tired.
6. She’s old. How old is she? I don’t know, about your age I think?
7. You look good for your age.
8. Are you a natural blonde?
9. I’ve got so much to do before I turn… 30! (be sure to say 30 with total disgust)
10. My husband and I plan to start our family by 27, because we don’t want to wait until we’re old to start. (Totally had an intern who said this when I was 28 and single.)
1. Why are you still single? What’s wrong with you? Why haven’t you found a husband yet?
2. When my youngest sister got married first: Wait, you’re telling me the YOUNGEST sister is getting married before the OLDEST sister? How weird!
3. Then, when my middle sister got married before me: So the OLDEST sister is the LAST to get married?!
And last but not least, the following two categories are from my little scientific poll I did on Facebook. I’m not the only one who gets crazy questions.
1. Are you having twins?
2. You look huge!
3. (Early on in her pregnancy:) You’re going to be huge! (Submitted by Jenn)
4. Your hips are like a baby super highway. (Oh Bevin, I can’t believe someone said that to you!)
1. From Adra: I was recently asked if my dad was my husband. Awkward.
2. From Jenn & Stephanie: Referring to a purse, jewelry, sunglasses, and/or body parts with “Is that (are those) real?”
3. From Kelly: “You look hot… when you try.”
4. From Erin: “I’m really attracted to brunettes.” When you’re a blonde…
So, my lovely friends, just think. If each of us taught just one other person to never EVER ask questions like, “Are you expecting?!” when a girl wears a fashionable yet flowy shirt, then through the laws of multiplication (that’s a thing, right?) we could single-handedly save girls like me from having to burn all of her favorite shirts.
It would be life changing, I tell you. Life changing.
PS–Any other things that should be added to our list of never ever statements? Leave it in the comments!
Also, just a reminder that Helene’s Texas Lovely give-away ends Tuesday! Be sure to go enter to win a free 8×10 print!