Don’t be psycho

My roommate and I watched the third episode of this season’s The Bachelor tonight. It is a great lesson in what NOT to do if you’re crushing on a guy. Here’s some tips:

1. Don’t turn psycho. Guys really hate that. Unless you’re a bleached blonde actress from Hollywood… and then they give you more leniency.

2. No temper tantrums. Especially on your first two dates.

3. Don’t get so worked up that you yell at the camera about how much you LOVE this guy you just met two weeks ago. Really? Are you sure it’s L-O-V-E and not a desire to W-I-N? Because one of these girls (Robin) looks like she could tackle someone and knock their teeth out. All in the name in love. She scares me.

4. Be a little mysterious. Telling a guy that he has all the qualities you’re looking for in a husband after you’ve only spent 20 minutes alone with him is probably too forward. Play hard to get. Some of these girls should play harder.

5. Avoid singing or playing an instrument on a first date. Guys don’t dig that as much as you think they do. It’s kind of creepy.

So thank you, Bachelor, for your continuing education of the dating public. We owe you a debt of gratitude.

And you make me laugh.

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