What I wish I had known before I was pregnant

before

Buy a belly brace. I just got one this week, and my belly feels 10 pounds lighter, my back hurts less, and I’m kicking myself for waiting so long to get one. I borrowed this one from a friend – it’s complicated, but works like a gem.

No matter how horrible your nausea may be – or how long it may last (in my case, 25 weeks), when it finally goes away, you really will forget how bad it was. I went from swearing to Mr. Right that this would be the ONLY baby I ever carry to telling him, “I think I could do this again.” Pregnancy amnesia is a wonderful thing – God sure knew what he was doing.

amnesia

It’s totally possible for your belly button to be both an innie and an outie at the same time.

Sleeping: Buy a body pillow the day you find out you’re pregnant. Invest in a good one. And buy some good books to read when those bouts of insomnia hit (because they will hit).

The AC is your friend. I’m super cold natured, but during this third trimester, it’s like my internal body temperature has been cranked up 5 or 10 degrees. For the first time ever, I’m freezing out my husband at home, and my car AC has only one setting these days – HIGH. Pregnancy would be a good time to move to Alaska.

It’s possible to get to the point where you never want to wear pants again. Like, I’d rather just wear the nice dress I wore to work when I get home at night than change into workout shorts and a t-shirt. It’s just too much elastic around my middle (not to mention that I’ve outgrown my husband’s t-shirts). I’m in an all-dresses, all the time mode.

pants

You haven’t seen awkward until you try on your postpartum nursing tops while nine months pregnant. Exactly how are you supposed to try on clothes that will fit AFTER you have the baby when you don’t even fit into maternity clothes anymore?

Actually, I lied – if you make it to nine months pregnant, you’ve seen awkward. As has your husband. And your coworkers. And strangers who watch you waddle across the parking lot. I think the most awkward of all is trying to roll yourself off the couch after watching TV – it’s a lot like watching a beetle who is stuck on his back with his legs kicking in the air, unable to right himself. I wish we could afford to install a pulley system in the living room.

There is no better feeling in the world than feeling your baby kick. My favorites are when she kicks me in the middle of a serious meeting. It’s like I have a secret that the rest of the world doesn’t know – there are little arms and legs flailing in my belly and nobody knows but me.

food

Pickles are the most amazing things in the whole world. Sweet, dill, fried, or fresh – they’re all wonderful.

It’s possible to survive for months at a time on nothing but saltines and baked potatoes, if your morning sickness is strong enough. Trust me, I know. It’s also possible to not be able to stomach a granola bar, but be able to eat Indian food. It’s also possible to eat so much Indian food in a two-week span that you never want to see another chicken tikka masala again.

During pregnancy, there is absolutely ZERO rhyme or reason to what tastes good and what doesn’t. Don’t even try to figure it out, just go with it.

While we’re talking foods – here is what I’ve craved since the morning sickness passed: pickles, salad, carbs of any kind, fruit, salty chips, spicy hot sauce, ice cream, lemonade, cherry limeades, and ice tea.

And here are my food aversions: coffee (my former addiction), hot tea, chicken, steak, brisket, and bananas.

finally

There is a reason why God makes you wait 40 weeks to have your baby. Because I was scared as you-know-what of childbirth for the first few months. And by now, well, I have my game face on, and a BRING IT ON kind of attitude. I am READY to do this. Being pregnant has made me a royal, disheveled mess some of the time, but it has also

brave

The promise of an epidural has also made me brave. Yes, that, too.

34 weeks and counting…

6 Comments

  1. Love this!! So true, trust me the amnesia will also kick in after you deliver!! When you see that sweet girl you will forget the pain…,and the epidural should still be working too :$

    Reply

  2. Ok miss Bethe at Texas lovely. I love your blog. I have read a good chunk of it and laughed and laughed. This kid for being one of those blogs that keeps it real.

    Reply

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