Sometimes you don’t know you have a problem until all of the emotions you didn’t know you had come spilling out. That’s what happened to me yesterday. An attempt to take the PERFECT PICTURE of my latest quilt for the blog turned into a big heart-to-heart with Mr. Right.
After trying to explain to him that I had to have the PERFECT PICTURE in the PERFECT outdoor setting because that’s what quilt bloggers do. And if I was ever going to get pinned on pinterest, if I was ever going to gain new followers, if I was ever going to be like THOSE BLOGGERS I read daily who have thousands of followers, if my little shop was ever going to REALLY take off, then I had to have the PERFECT PICTURE.
And that’s when Mr. Right looked at me with those giant brown puppy dog eyes of his, and said, “I think your priorities are a little out of whack.”
This isn’t a popularity contest.
My worth doesn’t come from the number of people who read my blog, or the number of people who buy something in my shop. My worth comes from one place and one place only – Christ.
I have been chosen by God: You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the father will give you whatever you ask in my name. (John 15:16)
My goal is to become more like Jesus: And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. (2 Corinthians 3:18)
My job is to show people Jesus’ love on his behalf: As God’s fellow workers, we urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain. (2 Corinthians 6:1)
I am fearfully and wonderfully made: For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:13-14)
My delight should not come from popularity: Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
I should not waste my time worrying about the approval of the blogosphere: Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. (Proverbs 16:3)
Here is what I know is true:
My worth comes from Christ, and not from the number of sales I make in my shop.
My value comes from Christ, and not the number of people who read my blog.
It is not healthy to seek popularity.
I opened my shop because I love it. This is not my career, this is not my primary source of income. I chose to do this because it was a welcome challenge to this girl who never takes risks.
I blog because I love it. Because I am a writer by nature, with an inherent need to put words on paper and come up with new and creative ways of expressing myself. I write because it stretches my muscles, it challenges me, it’s something I have to do. I blog because I want to encourage other women, to show them that I don’t have it all together, to show them that behind the pretty wreath on my door is a messy house with two imperfect people inside. I blog because it’s so comforting to find out that you’re not the only one who doesn’t have it all together.
The main goal is for you to see how much I love Jesus.
So to my dear friends who read this, thank you. Thanks for supporting me as I continue to blaze a trail that is sometimes filled with potholes and rocks and other times is smooth and wide. I hope to never encourage comparison, or feelings of not being good enough, but instead provide reassurance that every girl has that messy drawer that she doesn’t want anybody to know about. Or for me, a laundry room piled to the ceiling with clothes that need to be folded, and a closet that is most certainly a fire hazard, and a bed that is only made 15 percent of the time (oh mom, please don’t ground me) and a closet full of clothes that fit a little too snugly.
My worth comes from Jesus, from the One who saved me even though I was still a sinner. Who loves me when I feel unpopular, or unsure of the future, or filled with insecurities.