Just the facts, ma’am

I had someone else tell me yesterday that I’m the most organized person they know. I get that a lot. Which is hilarious, because it’s a TOTAL ACT. Seriously. My life feels like chaos about 99% of the time. The only 1% of the time that I feel organized… is when I have advanced warning that someone is coming over. And that only comes after a mad scramble around my house, with me shouting things at my dog and peeling my laundry off the fan. Or something like that.

I would like to present you with Exhibit A: My car. Here is a list of the items currently in Snowflake, my trusty (and dusty) white 4-Runner. 
-My sassy gold wedge sandals.
-A card table that belongs to a co-worker.
-A yellow chair that belongs to my church.
-About 4 pairs of pantyhose (the moment I leave work and that dress code behind, I shimmy right out of those torturous stockings… usually right there in my car. Those horrible things should be banned forever… I HATE pantyhose).
-A case of Diet Coke.
-A case of water. (I’ll be well prepared in a natural disaster).
-A 30 lb. dedication plaque for a patio we’re about to open up at work.
-About 5 umbrellas. None are within reach during a rain storm though… I have to crawl over two sets of seats to get them. Poor planning.
-A first aide kit. And a roadside rescue kit (a quite stylish roadside rescue kit, actually).
-A gift certificate for some free tennis shoes.
-800 coupons.
-Several CDs. Several pairs of sunglasses.
-A spare jacket I wore about three months ago and subsequently forgot about.
-Two school bags. About 400 pages of research for my upcoming paper. And 12 highlighters.
Yep, folks, there’s my list. I’m not preparing for an event… I don’t have a master plan to take all of these items and use them for something productive… I just haven’t gotten around to unloading my car. I’m busy. And I honestly don’t know when that will happen. Maybe in June?
So remember that the next time you want to label me as “organized.” Instead, label me as a “good actor.”

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