Surefire ways to slow down time

Have you ever wanted to bottle time? Make a moment last forever? Find the fountain of youth? Stop rushing through life? Put off that deadline just a little bit longer?

I have discovered the secret to making a moment seem like an eternity.

  1. Run on a treadmill for an hour.
  2. Go to the DMV or Social Security Office. Make sure your phone is dead.
  3. Have the stomach flu.
  4. Watch a John Wayne movie.
  5. Go to a classical concert with the lights off on a night when you are very, very tired.
  6. Go on a strict diet where you can’t eat any of the things you love.
  7. Get stuck in a traffic jam while you have to go to the bathroom.
  8. Have the guy you’re crushing on ask for your number… and then not call you for a week. (Ahem, Mr. Right did this to me, and it was the longest week of my life!)
  9. Go to Wal-Mart on a Saturday to just pick up *one thing* and wait in line at the check-out.
  10. Prep for a colonoscopy.

And finally, the very best way to make time stand absolutely still – be nine months pregnant. Every week  No, every day… becomes an eternity.

What about you? What other ways have you found to make time stand still?


PS–I’m 37 weeks and 4 days and it’s like I just woke up this morning suffering from TOBP (Tired of Being Pregnant). I totally get what other women mean. I’m thankful that I’m still sleeping pretty well, and most of the time I feel pretty good. Just ready to finally hold my baby girl in my arms… and honestly, to not be pregnant anymore. It’s like I can see the finish line, but it keeps moving. So… close…

One Comment

  1. You are already a Mommy now. You are holding your little princess in the very best possible way, for her. Your patience will be duly rewarded when the appointed day arrives.
    You. Can. Do. This.
    With Grace, you’ll make it, beautifully!
    Praying for all 3 of you! ~Pat


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