I watched two hours of Dancing with the Stars tonight. Can I just tell you that I want to be famous, simply so I can be a contestant on Dancing with the Stars? Unfortunately, odds are not in my favor… I’m not sure what a 27-year-old girl in suburbia with no unusual talents can do to become a big star. Somehow Kim Kardashian figured it out, but I’m not sure how I would go about getting a reality TV show. I think usually they pick people a bit more scandalous than me.

So I think my best option is to become a ballroom dancing champion. Then I can be one of the professional dancers on the show and get paired with some hunky soap opera star with big muscles and a small mind. And then I can wear the pretty dresses, flashy jewelry, have my hair done, and dance around like a big star while a crowd of admiring fans cheers me on.

Yes, I think I’ll add it to my “to-do” list. Become a ballroom dancing champion. I can see it now… I better get to work.