I’ll have to admit, all of the comments and attention focused on the size of my bump started to get to me last week.
Today’s comment was: “I can tell you’re having a girl because the shape of your face has changed.” I can only assume that means it’s, err, filling out? Awesome.
Actually, the comments have bothered me from the beginning – one thing I have learned from pregnancy is that you can’t really help how you carry the baby. Some girls carry high, some carry low. Some carry only out in front, others wear their baby like an inner tube (hello, back fat – we are not friends). Some girls puff up all over, others look like they swallowed a tic tac until month 7. And you know what – none of them has any control over it. You just get what you get.
To every pregnant girl who has gone before me, whom I have secretly judged, I am SO SORRY.
So after a dozen too many “Oh my gosh, you’re HUGE!” comments, along with some unflattering photos (I’ve learned my lesson – no more pics taken from the front – you will get nothing but profile shots of me between now and when the baby is 7), those insecurities in my head got really loud. Couple that with the date on my calendar that started creeping closer – maternity pictures! Aaaack! What was I thinking? I panicked.
Since I’m good friends with our photographers, I emailed her and told her that if I didn’t love her and trust that she could work magic with ANYTHING, then I would have cancelled already. She responded with encouragement – told me to go buy some new clothes that I’d feel cute in, take some deep breaths, and loosen up. And that’s what I did.
Nobody needs to know about the hour I spent in the dressing room at Destination Maternity at our local mall, trying on item after item with disgust (maternity clothes are NOT cute). Nobody needs to know that the whole time sweet baby girl was dive-bombing my bladder to the point I wasn’t sure I’d make it back to my car. Nobody needs to know that when I went to try on sandals I realized I couldn’t reach the buckle and so I just gave up trying (I was wearing a knee-length skirt – I could have reached it, but it would NOT have been lady like).
Because two days later we went and took our pictures and had a blast. Those insecurities melted away as Mr. Right snuggled against me and told me how beautiful he thought I looked, and as my photographer friends showed me sneak peeks in their camera that proved that at the right angle, I’m rocking it.
(For my records – I was 30 weeks when these pics were taken. Photo courtesy of McGowan Images.)
I get to see the rest of the pics tomorrow. In the meantime, I’m continuing to battle and pray my way through those silly insecurities about my body, which to be honest I’ve had both pregnant and non-pregnant, because it’s one of those traits I don’t want to pass along to my little girl.
My sweet friends, what has helped you overcome those body insecurities? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.