Every time I mention salsa class, I think about that awesome Seinfeld episode:
GEORGE: “Why don’t they have salsa on the table?”
JERRY: “What do you need salsa for?”
GEORGE: “Salsa is now the number one condiment in America.”
JERRY: “You know why? Because people like to say “salsa.” “Excuse me, do
you have any salsa?” “We need more salsa.” “Where is the salsa? No salsa?”
GEORGE: “You know it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order
seltzer and not get salsa. “I wanted seltzer, not salsa!”
JERRY: “Don’t you know the difference between seltzer and salsa? You
have the seltezer after the salsa!”
GEORGE: “See, this should be a show. This is the show.”
See, how could you not just LOVE Seinfeld?
And I also really do love my salsa class. For 90 minutes, once a week, I get to go clubbing… at 7:00 in the evening, in a smoke-free, alcohol-free environment, where everybody is super nice, nobody gropes you, the men are polite, and the music isn’t deafening. It’s good stuff.
Last year I ran a half marathon. My goal was to finish without dying or puking, and somehow I managed to avoid both. Just when I thought I was a weak and lazy whimp, I somehow trained to run 13 miles. It wasn’t pretty, but I did it. Go me.
But that was sooo 2008. This year I need a new challenge, so I’ve chosen a different sport–one that I am equally as clueless about, but one that I think will take me far in life.
I’m learning to salsa.
Two friends and I are taking weekly salsa lessons at a local dance studio. Every Monday night you’ll find me in my strappy high heels, jeans, and a tank top (a la Dancing With the Stars), shaking my tushy to the reggae flavor of the month. It looks like I’ll soon be hanging out at the local salsa club on the weekends, dancing it up with my new-found friends. Maybe I’ll find myself a latin lover, learn a little Spanish, and and kiss the single life goodbye… all because of this new salsa class.
Nah, probably not. But it’s still excellent exercise and provides endless amounts of entertainment. And it’s the only workout I’ve found that I can do while wearing cute shoes.
In our first class, I learned the highly-choreographed sexy hair-comb move. Seriously, we practiced it for 15 minutes. I’m not sure if mine is sexy, or just awkward. I plan to practice it constantly over the next week… I’ll be doing the sexy hair-comb while stopped at stoplights, while standing in line at the grocery store, while checking my mail… that’s not weird, is it?
This highly-choreographed sexy hair-comb move might just be my ticket to stardom.