I have an ugly confession.
Some days, it’s all about me.
That’s so ugly, isn’t it?
Here’s the deal: Mr. Right has a new job at our church. And we are so, so thankful for it. He’s got a wonderful opportunity to try some new, interesting things, and I’m 100% supportive of him.
But lately, out of nowhere, I throw myself a pity party. You see, he has to work during church. Both services, every week. Which means I don’t get to go to church with him.
Now, we spend tons of time together the rest of the week. We pray together every night. We serve together in our ESL ministry. I have a Sunday School class filled with old friends I’ve known for years.
But there’s something about having your husband sitting next to you at church.
The first time it really affected me was the Christmas Eve service. I realized, about an hour before, that I was going to have to drive to the Christmas Eve service. Alone. Sit in the Christmas Eve service. Alone. While everybody else was there with their whole family, I was going to be that girl. Alone.
It soured my attitude. Completely. Bah humbug.
The silly thing about it, is that we spent the ENTIRE day before and after the service together. With family. But the family didn’t make it to the service. So I was just going to be alone for about two hours. But I still threw myself an impromptu pity party and not only did it ruin my attitude, but I pouted to Mr. Right.
So not cool.
And of course, I had plenty of people to sit with. A couple that has been a real mentor to both of us said that of course I could sit with their family. No big deal. And it turned out that Mr. Right got to sit with me too. But by then, I was busy repenting and feeling guilty about my poor attitude. On Christmas, of all days.
For the next few weeks, it continued to bother me. I’ve worried that my new married Sunday School classmates who don’t know me will think my husband just doesn’t bother to come to church. I worry that they’ll judge me. I’ve worried about who I will sit with in church. Will I get on peoples’ nerves for tagging along?
What will people think of me?
It’s a crippling thing to worry about.
But the truth is, I should be too busy serving and worshipping to worry about sitting alone. I should be looking for lonely people to sit with. This may turn into a wonderful opportunity to freely love on other people.
And it’s imperative that I relinquish Mr. Right of any guilt associated with me sitting alone. He needs to be free to serve others, to love on our visitors as they walk through the door. To take care of some behind-the-scenes logistics so that the rest of us can worship without distraction.
So do me a favor. Pray for the ministers at your church, and also pray for their wives. There are so many