Things you should never say to a woman

I’m going to start keeping a list of things you should never say to a woman.

1. Are you pregnant? 
I got it again last week from one of my ESL students. In her defense, before I left for class I looked in the mirror at my dress, which should be belted but I chose not to, and my baggy cardigan, tights and flats and thought to myself “Bethe, this isn’t the most flattering look.” But ESL is in the evening after a full day of work, and when you’re dealing with refugees from all over the world, how you look is the last thing they care about. It’s one of those wonderful places where you’re loved simply because you’re willing to love back. And so I looked a bit “baggy.” And ahem, pregnant. (still. not. pregnant. don’t even ask.)

2. Are you sick?
This one just stinks. I usually get this when I forget to touch up my makeup and my mascara starts to bleed down my eyelids.

3. (to a pregnant girl) Wow, you’re really filling out!
Someone said this to my gorgeously pregnant sister… they’ve obviously lost their mind.

And today, I’m adding this one…

4. Wow, you look sloppy today!
For the record… I was feeling kind of awesome today. Really cute – totally something out of a fashion blog. But apparently not everybody agreed.

So what did I do?

I ate cake. Chocolate cake. And now I’m over it.
Anything else you want to add to my “Never say this to a woman” list?


  1. It's crazy to me that anyone thinks you look pregnant! I will also add to the list: “Are you tired? You look tired.” And tell you sister that when I announced to my friends I was pregnant, one girl (actually the girlfriend of a friend) said, “I KNEW you were pregnant! Your face has been really broken out!” Ouch.


  2. Sometimes, I think it is almost as offensive when someone emphasizes “good”. As in, “Oh, you look GOOD today!” Shocked and surprised that I look nice, together, decent?? How and why?


  3. I totally agree Amyjo. And for the record I am dressed up today with my shirt tucked in so I look neither sloppy nor pregnant.


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