Hi there blog friends – I’m still here, in case you were starting to wonder. As I write this I have a beautiful, brown-haired, big-eyed baby girl sleeping on my chest. The past 11 days have been completely overwhelming – I’ve been in total survival mode, taking things one hour at a time as we all adjust to each other. I’ve been so tired I could barely function. I have found that two solid hours of sleep in a row is suddenly one of the sweetest gifts anybody can give me. I have found that it’s possible to be way too tired to take care of yourself – to be hungry and thirsty but instead want to take the extra ten minutes to extend my nap just a *little* longer. I have found that breast feeding is frustratingly hard, although we’re starting to get the hang of it.
The past 11 days have also been some of the greatest of my life – I am so in love with this baby girl. I think about her and I just cry happy tears (see, there I go again). I look into those big eyes of hers and wonder how I could ever love someone more than I love her. I let her lie on my chest, listening to her breathe, and I feel thankfulness like i have never felt before. This is the baby that I prayed for for so long… and now she’s my baby and she’s here, and I just can’t believe it.
Today is the first day I have been able to find words. I’ve just been too tired to open up my computer, much less type a coherent thought. I want to thank everybody who has called, texted, emailed, Facebooked me, and prayed for us. I haven’t responded to most messages simply because I don’t have anything left after caring for this little one. But each day gets a little easier, and soon I will find my stride. In the meantime, just know that I appreciate your encouragement so much. I read it during those lonely 3:00 a.m. feedings and feel like I’ve got you on my team. Thank you.
In the meantime, I’m venturing off to write Wrenn’s birth story – I want to capture the details before they slip away into the fog of far-away memories. Let me tell you that her birth was so much better than I had anticipated – I was scared to death, and instead it was such a positive experience. Mr. Right was a rock star and took fabulous care of me throughout the entire labor and delivery (and recovery… ouch), and has also taken wonderful care of little Wrenn. He is such a good father, I could cry just thinking about it.
Okay, so I still have some hormones… I hear that’s normal. There’s a lot of crying going on in my house these days. Mostly happy tears… mostly.
I’ll see you soon. Thanks for your patience.
Photos are courtesy of McGowan Images.
Congratulations! She is beautiful! You may have already came across this, but I got tons of help from this blog and the google group that goes along with it…
I remember reading most of it at 3 am while nursing Aedan. The newborn days are rough, but they will pass quickly!
Thanks for the info Lauren – I will definitely check it out!
Congratulations! It is the most amazing feeling in the world…and most overwhelming. And most exhausting. I think I cried more tears during my babies’ first few weeks than I ever had before…tears of joy, exhaustion, frustration, you name it! Glad you are settling in and I’m glad you had a good birth experience. Anyways, congrats again…I’m very happy for you!
Definitely lot’s of crying here, Marcy. Great description. I keep thinking of you and other friends who have twins – I’m completely exhausted, and I’m only feeding ONE. I have a lot more respect for those of you who have done this for two or more.
Thank you for letting us all into the first days of this special time!