Don’t do this, 2009!

Now 2009, we had an agreement. This is going to be a fantastic year, filled with fun, adventures, friends… the works.

Having my car broken into a few hours into the new year is NOT part of our agreement. This is not the tone I want to set for my new, fabulous year. 
At least you made it better by gifting me with a stupid robber for me to laugh at. Because really, risking your life and jail time in order to steal a bag full of KNITTING SUPPLIES is a bit sophomoric. Moronic. I’m irked that in that bag was the blanket that I have been knitting for more than a YEAR. But I’m so very thankful that my asinine imbecile of a thief only got that. He (or she?) didn’t take anything of real value (except for the HUNDREDS of hours I spent knitting that beautiful blanket!), nobody was hurt, and he didn’t break into my house. Maybe he needed that blanket. Maybe my theif is a serial knitter who has to resort to thievery to placate the raging desire burning in his heart to get his next knitting fix.
Yes, I bet that’s it.
So 2009, this is strike one. You’d better be on your best behavior from now on, because I’ll be watching you like a hawk. I know you can do better, and I still have high expectations for you. Don’t let me down.

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